July 4th Barbecue – Donal Mahoney


July 4th Barbecue




for Kermit Gosnell, M.D.




Every year Dr. Gluck,


the famed gynecologist,


invites his nurses to his ranch


for his July 4th barbecue.




The nurses and their husbands


drive miles to watch the doctor 


twist the necks of 20 chickens 


before he dips the fowl, some 


still wriggling, in a big vat 


of boiling water to remove 


the feathers before he tears 


the legs and wings off 


and places the parts 


neatly on the grill.




Everyone agrees the meat 


is wonderful, as is the sauce. 


No knife is needed except 


to butter the fresh-baked rolls.


The slaw and potato salad 


have no peer, the nurses say. 


They claim the same is true 


of his ice cream and pecan pie.




The perfection of this feast


is no mystery, really.


Every July 4th Dr. Gluck


celebrates America and


demonstrates outdoors 


the skills he’s honed 


indoors for 30 years. 


The nurses agree, however, 


the fetuses don’t wriggle 


as much as the chickens do 


and it’s nice the fetuses 


go in a bucket 


and not on a grill.







1 Comment

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One response to “July 4th Barbecue – Donal Mahoney

  1. you rip the truth wide open

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